Reset

Have you ever wanted to just press the reset button? I think I'm about to do just that. Going back to California is something M and I have been so looking forward to, but we were a bit worried about being able to find a decent apartment. We wanted one in the same old neighborhood we left, because we loved where it was located. We wanted a place that was gated and had onsite laundry, and two bedrooms, and good for walking Radley. We've been looking and our little neighborhood is kinda full. We did the westsiderentals.com thing (which you have to pay for) and not much was there either, and the last time I used them they had tons of offerings. Craigslist was a bust. With M not having a job and my job not starting for a few months, we were afraid it would be tough to even get an apartment. My credit isn't as bad as it used to be, but it's not exactly healthy. So we decided hey why not call the old landlord and see if he has any units available in the coming months.

He did, but he didn't want to wait until October 1st to rent it to us, so.....we're leaving early! That's right, instead of being broke in sweltering, humid, lawyer-laden Philadelphia, we're going to go be broke in Long Beach. It might be sweltering, it may have a kind of sooty dust that leaves an oily film all over everything in your apartment, but it's home! We're paying our first month's rent Sept 1st. Not sure if we can get out of here before then, but hopefully by the first week of Sept, I'll be back in baby's arms...

2 Bedrooms, you guys! And apartment upgrades of all kinds apparently, as my landlord claims to have installed ceiling fans, re-tiled the kitchen and bath, and recarpeted. All this for less than we were paying before we left. Is this some kind of miracle? Some kind of sign of good things to come?

It damn well better be. I'm so happy I could cry.

This means good things for the Sweet Lady Shop, as October is a big month for me. I'll be posting up new products, revamping the website, and doing some sort of anniversary thing, since it's been over a year since I opened up shop. And the shop will finally have a craft room to call its own. Some people get a second bedroom for guests, some get it for a future baby, mine's for the shop!

Wow. I need to go get boxes. How many do you think it will take if I have 700 books? Yeah, I did an inventory. Frightening, isn't it?

Housewarming Party in late September. I'm pretty sure there will be cocktails.

Constant Craving

Ok, so I owe you all an explanation. I've been blogging a lot less than I used to. And I don't post pictures of my meals with recipes anymore. And I don't do any baking to speak of. I haven't had the time or the energy. I've had bouts of really sad times balanced by good but busy and productive times. I'm working on posting more. I'm working on lots of things.

I am super proud of myself for my most recent accomplishment. My dissertation is in the hands of a good editor, and I'm turning it in in a couple of weeks for printing. But it's done. No extra work needed. That, in an of itself is a big effing deal. I get that. I do.

And I got to go home! I missed it much more than I realized. It was nice to see my family and friends, and even nicer to have something to celebrate while I was there. Seeing my friends and the old hood was pretty cool too.

While I don't want this blog to be a "pity me" blog, it bears mentioning that the day after I got back,  instead of ushering in a few weeks of rest and relaxation, my job situation really tanked.

Remember how I work at Wolfram & Hart, the evil law firm? And remember how they had me doing horrible foreclosure hotline stuff, where I'd have to talk to people who were losing their homes and tell them that they had to pay huge sums of money within a week or their house will be sold? Well that stuff sucked and was shitty. Also apparently a lot of it wasn't too legal. My firm is being sued in a class action lawsuit (along with our clients, big giant banks). This has resulted in a massive amount of layoffs.

My friends at work started to disappear. The week I got back, they started laying off people in batches of 15. Then they slowed down. Then I got transferred again. This time, to a department that handles out-of-state cases. Then they started laying off people again. Important people. People needed to get things done. People who have worked there for 15 years. People who were in the middle of celebrating their birthday. Yeah, that's right, one guy got fired ON his birthday. It hasn't been a month since I went out to LA for my defense and yet a huge amount of people at my firm are gone and each day has been incredibly stressful. Every time the phone rings, we jump because it might be HR asking for a private meeting. Even some of the demon lawyers are gone! Demon on demon crime, you guys! It's a crap shoot each day that I'll have a job. Which means an apartment and medical insurance and CABLE TV.

Anyway, I have been a stress ball each day all day! If I don't have a job, we're screwed. M. hasn't found decent employment, we've got a dwindling savings, and none of my teaching applications have yielded much in the way of even one adjunct class. I can't even get any kind of academic adjacent job.


I've tried to love Philly. I love parts of it a lot. But a year should be enough time to get a spot teaching one class as an adjunct with a PhD. And if M. can't get a decent job after applying for over 300 positions (ranging from full time benefited to hourly retail), then I think we have to reassess our long term plans. The major reason we came was to have a better financial future.

We're thinking of moving back to Long Beach. We've done some soul searching about it. M wanted to move back 6 months ago, but I thought we owed it to ourselves to give it one year. Now that the dissertation is done, I feel like I can finally think clearly about what I need and what I love to do.

Until I finished, I felt like it would take forever. I felt like I'd never be done. I was running in place for a long time. Doing whatever I could to avoid the work that needed to get done.  And now that the work is done and I'm actually proud of it, I feel like a million bucks. And Wolfram & Hart is destroying this million bucks feeling. They are tearing into tiny tiny pieces and crushing each piece.

I've got a very possible job situation happening in January 2012. A good one. One with possibilities for the future. One that would make it very easy to move back to Long Beach. I think it's happening. And I think I'm happy at the prospect. Some people would look at this Philly thing as a failed experiment. But I look at it as my last chance to do a big crazy move, to experience totally new things, to understand myself better.

I want to not be stressed out all the time. It's really messing with my mind and my body. And I want my husband to be happy. And this war of ovarian aggression will one day end. I want to be on the winning side of that one. Sigh. I've given up on the need to be a homeowner. I've looked at enough awful mortgages and ruined lives at Wolfram & Hart to never ever sign a mortgage. Not until I've got real stability and a hefty savings. And I've started to be OK with that. I can have a rental house someday. And I can take good care of it like it was my own until things get better.

So this was an apology (for being gone), an explanation (for why I've been gone), and an indication of what's coming.

Wish me some luck already, damn!

It's um...research!

Those of you that are Facebook friends with me know that I was itching to go to the drag show at Ripples bar last night. Ripples is one of the longest running gay bars in Long Beach. Every Thursday they have their "Dreamgirls Revue," which I've been to a few times. I hadn't been in a long while, perhaps 6 or 7 years, but the Thursday night drag show is always there, waiting for your return.

Why the sudden interest? Well, I am just interested in drag queens generally, of course. I mean, that just goes without saying. But I'm also going to incorporate the Dreamgirls Revue into my Axis of Ava comic. I'm hoping to incorporate a vampire drag show at a club I'm calling "The Black Veil." And I want some of the backgrounds, landmarks, and people to be authentically Long Beach. Well, as authentic as you can get in a world with vampires.

The show, of course, was amazing. So versatile. The ladies had different things to offer. One was more into 80s power anthems, one gave us Etta James and torch songs, and another gave us pop songs from Kelly Clarkson, Robyn, Pink, and Lady Gaga. Let me tell you, I was afraid the world would fall in on itself when Lady Gaga's "Pokerface" came on. She's pretty much a drag queen herself, so a drag performance? I thought it would mess with the space-time-continuum or something. But we survived.

Can I tell you my favorite part?

I love Stevie Nicks. I always have, so a Stevie Nicks performance was a real treat. She came out to my personal theme song, "Stand Back,"* which is so totally an obvious choice! But even better. EVEN BETTER: in between songs, she performed the Saturday Night Live "Stevie Nicks Fajita Round Up." So you know I love Stevie Nicks, have I told you that I am like a Xena: Warrior Princess fanatic? No? Well it's true. I currently have a life-sized cardboard cut out of her in my faculty office. She stares students down, giving them her best smolder. Guess who plays Stevie in that sketch? Lucy Lawless. Check it out here, it's hysterical:


Lucy Lawless spoofs Stevie Nicks



So my worlds collided to reward me with the performance, to which I apparently was fated to go. I had hoped someone would be into going with me and nobody was on such short notice, then, at the last minute, my friend Matt texted me and invited me there because he was celebrating his birthday there with some friends. I don't know how much will make it into the comic, but it was a good way to start off the long weekend. Other than the hangover today. I'm just getting on in years, I guess. I don't recover until around 5 or 6 the next day if I have too many. Lame.

*my other personal theme song? "Bossy" by Lindsay Lohan. Check it out.

Frosted Cupcakery

Remember last November when I mentioned that cupcake place on 2nd st. in Belmont Shore, the Frosted Cupcakery?

Well, they are participating in this festival on February 21st called "Make Sweet Lady Cheat on Her Diet." No wait, I think it's actually called the "Chocolate Festival." Anyway, info on that is here if you are in the LB area!

For Valentine's Day they also have a ton of their red velvet mini cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. Just look at these cuties.


And they are also selling an ice cream cupcake. Yes, that's right. Ice cream. Cupcake. Heavenly, isn't it? I am going to have to try to make these if I ever have a party.


Check out their website for more info, but so far I've seen chocolate with what looks like mint chocolate chip ice cream and red velvet with vanilla ice cream (like the pic above).

Not to mention they sell cupcakes for dogs at 3 for $2 (called "pupcakes"), because everyone in Belmont Shore has a dog.

Pretty Things/ Jerky Guy

Pretty Things

Since I kind of flaked on Friday Finds for most of my readers, who live nowhere near me or the cupcakery, I thought I'd make it up to you.
New online shop I found, via BUST magazine's latest holiday shopping story:
Bestow Boutique

Some of these things are actually very affordable!

$5 dollar matchbooks, some of which are very cute. Here's a good example of the style, the sacred heart matchbook.


I love this Purity soap dish. I mean, if you are single or you have a social worker coming to check out your house for some reason, maybe you don't want it to be on display, but I like its centuries old creepyness.


This pill case is amazing. I totally see it as the kind of thing that would have been on the nightstand of Henry Hill's wife, Karen, in Goodfellas.


Not to be outdone, Jonathan Adler has a whole series of canisters and boxes in the same vein:

The other ones say "Uppers" "Downers" and "Quaaludes" but I love "Dolls" best.

Pillows are notoriously expensive, for reasons I don't understand. This one is no exception, but it is pretty:



This is the item that started it all. Wing-shaped dishes. They are about 10 inches long and 4 inches across and only $40 for a set of two.


Sweet anniversary/wedding gift idea:

Or I guess it could be a weird nationalistic gift, what with the word "patrie" or patriot up on top there.

Jerky Guy

Last night I actually went out, which was nice. I have been sick and busy and trying to save a bit of cash, so since Halloween I've been a shut-in practically. But M. and I decided to hit the town. Or, well, go to our local bar for a few, which is our version of hitting the town. One of M.s friends met us there and we had a good time. So good that I agreed to the worst idea ever: shots.

I have realized that with age comes great responsibility. But even more than responsibility, it also comes with an inability to tolerate the ravages of alcohol, unless you are a drunk and manage to acclimate your body to this special form of torture. Shots are a good way to put yourself on the couch for the next day, which is pretty much what I've done. Don't feel too badly, I wasn't deathly hung over, just a slight headache and a desire for starchy, fatty, delicious fried foods. But I had fun.


The one thing that put a damper on the evening was this monstrosity:


I have written and bitched about the blight that is the digital jukebox before. The companies that make these things allow only certain albums, certain songs cost more than others, and it in general kills any local flavor a bar might have in the way of music. But the worst part about these things is that they are little capitalist pigs.

You go to a bar and you want to hear some of your songs, so you put in your money and take some time selecting songs that go together well, that create a mood, and then some douchebag comes in and decides to skip your songs. That's right, for an extra dollar or something ridiculous, you can come up during someone's set and totally skip their songs. It is kind of an unwritten rule that people who do this are lame assholes. It rarely happens as a result. I mean, why pay for that kind of thing? Most of the people who go to my bar aren't exactly rich. At least not rich enough to just throw money around on skipping songs at a dollar a pop. Except for this guy:


This beanie-wearing jerk interrupted my awesome set twice. And not for anything good. Some boring TI song followed by another boring Lil Wayne song that you can hear any time you want on the radio.

My set that got ruined:
INXS- Never Tear Us Apart
Cars - Just What I Needed
Tears for Fears - Mad World
Stevie Nicks - Stand Back
Pixies - Gigantic
The Donnas - Strutter (KISS cover)
Motley Crue - Looks that Kill

How does TI or Lil Wayne even fit in there? So if you see that guy, go ahead and clothesline him for me. And if you decide to take his wallet or somehow extract money from him, he owes me at least $2.

Friday Finds/Update

Hi, I've been gone for days! What's up with that?

Friday Finds today will not be so hot for those of you who can't make it to Long Beach, but I had to post about Frosted Cupcakery because it just opened on 2nd street (I think it moved from a different location in the Belmont Shore area, but I never visited the old place) and it has regular sized cupcakes. That's right, not colossal, big as your own head, cupcakes, but regular ones. I don't really drive through the Belmont Shore too much, but the other day I noticed it and M. and I made it a mission this afternoon to see what's up. Pics below:

I dig their color scheme!

Cute displays


Tasty cupcakes. I got the mint chocolate for M. and the chocolate coconut for me. Good frosting to cake ratio. A lot of what I see out there has a heap of frosting that doubles the cupcake in size. This was like a gourmet version of what someone would make at home. Recommended highly!


They even have a blog. Not everyone wants to make a dozen cupcakes and have them lying around the house forever, so having the option of buying one or two and calling it a day is nice.

I went to my local JoAnn's Fabrics yesterday and picked up some nice stuff for my holiday decor. I'm making stockings and a tree skirt. Here's a sneak peek at my color scheme.

I only started doing Christmas decorating last year. M. is Jewish, and I didn't want to make our house all Christmasy because I know this culture is on total X-mas overload every year. If I want Christmas decorations, I can just go outside from November 1st until January 3rd, is my rationale. It's not like I'm missing it by not having a tree. But he was kinda fascinated by the Christmas tree, so last year we got one and made it up all pretty using ornaments my mom wanted me to have and a few cheap target finds. I like the idea of the tree, just not the upkeep of a tree, the vacuuming up pine needles, the dying tree/fire hazard. It just doesn't fit in with my OCD, so I got a very nice looking fake tree this year. All white, kind of like the vintage ones from the 60s, but without vintage stranger germs (in honor of M.'s um, problem). It's only about four feet tall, so the menorah shouldn't get too overshadowed. Chrismukkah fever starts up soon, so I thought I'd take care of crafty things before the semester winds down and I get all high strung. Crafts completed while high-strung are, well, ugly. Almost every time.

I will keep you updated on the stockings. I have been watching Etsy videos on YouTube. Great stuff there. Lots of step-by-step instructions for crafts and baking projects.

California on Fire

This is what the area in front of my door looks like.

So, in case you were wondering? I am covered in ashes. Every year there are wild fires, and every year, no matter where they are, the smoke and ash comes sailing on over Long Beach and out to the ocean. This year we have fires above us, to the east and to the west, so you can imagine how gross it is outside. Instead of a blanket of soot, you can actually see wood particles and grey ash. I was horrified watching the news yesterday morning, since my family lives out by one of the fires. But once I found out that everyone was OK, I calmed down a little. Still, the photos and footage are heartbreaking. So many people are having a hard time managing life with this recession, and with the holidays coming, just..there are no words.

Since the fires are burning so close to my work, a couple of students have taken it upon themselves to use it as an excuse to not come to class tomorrow. One said that it might be too difficult to make it to class because some freeways are shut down, so am I going to cancel class? Hello? Detours? Get up earlier? And one actually asked if I was going to give an extension on the paper due Wednesday because he has spent all of Saturday watching the fires on the news. Great. Way to tell me that you put off writing the paper until the Saturday before it was due, even though I gave you over a month to do it, and then further flaking by watching TV. Nice going. Also, who in their right mind would ask a professor such a thing? I'm sure there are some students who have actually lost their homes, or who have family that are displaced. It strikes me as quite insensitive to use this tragedy as a way out of a paper or one class meeting.

I spent the weekend recovering from my godawful cold. I am still coughing and sniffling. The hot ashy air does nothing for a cough, let me tell you. We closed up the house and plan to stay in as much as possible. I have my strength back, which is nice. I managed to get back into the swing of things by cleaning, my favorite pastime. I cleaned the fridge and freezer top to bottom. I usually clean out the refrigerator by tossing old food and wiping down the shelves, but this time I went to town. I took out shelves and washed them in hot water, I scrubbed the walls of the fridge, and I got rid of some condiments we never really use. And then I did the freezer too! Crazy. But after days of laying in bed looking up at the ceiling, it was almost inevitable that when I got up, I'd be a force to be reckoned with.

If you know me, you know I love to rearrange furniture. When you don't have a lot of money for new stuff, and you want to redecorate, rearranging is a good substitute. We rearranged the living room (pics over at Flickr) again. Just a few adjustments to help us feel a little less cluttered. Now that M. spends more time here, he really notices that stuff. He actually started it this time! It's nice to have a rearranging partner. Living by the beach has is luxuries, but one of the only complaints I have is that there is a layer of sand/oil/soot that comes in with the dust and covers everything. When you rearrange, it requires cleaning and vacuuming. You realize everything has a layer of dirt that requires more than a wet rag. I haven't used so much Simple Green in a while. But when you move a lamp and see a ring, you gotta take care of the whole piece of furniture. At least if you're me.

Hopefully this week will be a bit more interesting. The blog has been kind of ho hum lately. I'm going to Philadelphia for Thanksgiving, so things will pick up, I'm sure. Also, I am making some progress on a few projects (culinary, academic, and design), so I promise I will get more interesting.

Never Trust a Junkie

A friend of mine once argued that laundromats have revolutionary potential. If everyone had to do their laundry in a laundromat, the argument went, neighborhoods would have a better sense of community because people would interact with each other more. Well, I beg to differ. Mind you, he said this across the street from the laundromat, far from his clothes and the potential for "community." Nobody wants to hang out in a laundromat. There are good reasons. For instance, I give you today's laundromat experience:

I was reading my Geek magazine, all by myself waiting for my washer to finish up when what could only be called a dirty junkie came up to "talk" to me. He asked if he could use my cell phone. I told him it was broken and only accepted calls, but didn't allow calls out (more on this lie later). I said there was a pay phone a few blocks away. But, you see, this wasn't why he wanted to talk to me, because he kept right on talking. "Why did you get that star tattoo?" he asked. I replied while looking at my magazine, "No reason, just because I liked it." "Oh really, I like mine too." He shows me a small star on his elbow. "I didn't get mine because I wanted to, though, it wasn't really a choice, but I like it now." So what is this? Is he telling me he's been in prison? If so, why? I know I look haggard on laundry day, but do I look like someone who can commiserate on the annoyance of forced prison tattoos? Am I now supposed to ask how he was forced to get his elbow tattooed? Or is this a way to scare me into giving him my cell phone? If so, bad plan dude. It didn't exactly scare me that someone was a bottom in prison. It made me uncomfortable though, so I just looked at my magazine and said "hmm." Then he told me I should get stars "all over" my body. I responded with silence. He took the hint and left me alone.

I bring this up because it's weird, but also because of the way I responded to him, which I both love and hate. I made up a very believable and yet totally cowardly lie. I said it as if it were completely true and looked him in the eye. That statement could have passed a polygraph. I am proud of that in a twisted way. However, if I were a guy, I would have said "no." And I would have probably said it in a way that conveyed "you may leave now," thereby avoiding the ensuing tattoo conversation. I think it will be a nice little experiment for the next month if I start thinking "What would a guy do?"

Anyway, here's a picture of my lunch. Lovely, amazing, leftover Thai food from Thai Silk in Long Beach. I think their bbq pork fried rice has crack in it. It's that damn good. With a Coke, of course.