Home

They say you can’t go home again. They’re wrong! As soon as I set foot on California soil, I started taking in the smells, sights and sounds of home. I was only there for four days, but I managed to get in some pretty nostalgic stuff:

1. Eating a Cuban meal with my mom and brother. 
2. Driving through Inglewood and Manhattan Beach to visit the house my parents rented when I was born. It’s been a few years since I’d gone to that part of town.
3. Smelling the one-of-a-kind smell of the jacaranda trees. They spill lavender flowers all over Los Angeles. I miss them terribly.
4. Helping mom clear the table. It’s funny how the little things catch you by surprise.
5. Joking with my brothers and cousins. We talk on Facebook and via Skype, but nothing’s like the lazy conversations that happen when you’re face to face.
6. Going back to my grad school campus, eating at the little lunch counter where I grabbed food between classes. I’d had such a hard time dealing with my writer’s block that I never liked going to campus after I’d finished my coursework.
7. Returning books to the library, which now (unexpectedly) no longer requires a student ID card to access. I hate that universities lock up their libraries. Nice to know this one changed its tune.
8. In my old Claremont stomping grounds, I made my way (in a daze, just after the defense) to Rhino Records, the big indie record store. Happy to see it’s still there. It still smells just the same inside. And little hand made zines and band flyers are just where they were. I don’t think I’ve been there in 10 years.
9. Driving my old car, Sheila! I sold it to my aunt, who had planned on giving it to her son to drive. He hasn’t gotten his license yet, so it was available to use. Driving Sheila around felt natural. I knew all her quirks. She got me everywhere on time.
10. Going out to Long Beach to visit friends at my old bar. Reminding myself that it is so good to become a regular someplace, to be able to go in by yourself and see familiar faces. That Cheers kind of thing. Only a little on the divey side. But that’s how I always liked it. Cheap drinks and friendly faces. I even managed to play matchmaker at some point in the evening. I’m a woman of many skills.
11. My friends recently had a baby so I went shopping at Lil Devil’s boutique on 4th Street in Long Beach. Still a great store! I bought little Addison a pair of pink and white striped tights and a t-shirt. I wanted to buy the little plastic plate/cup/fork set with a Dia de los Muertos theme, but she’s only a few months old. Dia de los Muertos for babies!? These, dear readers, are my people. The baby liked being held by me and even smiled and laughed when I shook her little hands. Being a baby comedian is, I have always said, the most fulfilling of jobs.
12. These same friends also have a dog we used to dogsit all the time. I was looking so forward to seeing that dog! And I was rewarded. She jumped circles around me, licked my hand constantly, and made that chuffling sound that big dogs make when they know they shouldn’t bark but they want to celebrate. Her celebration upon seeing me was something I will never forget. Watching a big boxer do big happy twirly jumps is pretty amazing for any reason!
13. The radio stations played good songs. I hadn’t heard Snoop, Dre, or even Tupac on the radio in a year! I can’t seem to find a good station in Philly. But I never drive anywhere, so experimenting with new stations isn’t part of my regular routine. I should work on that.
14. I stayed at a friend’s apartment in Seal Beach one night. Two seconds after I put down my stuff, I walked the two blocks to the beach, stuck my toes in the sand and stared at the ocean for a good while. Happy sunshine on my face. I bought a coconut paleta (ice cream bar) and ate it on the sand. Literally and figuratively a happy, Sandy moment.
15. There was a bit of June gloom, but it wore off by late afternoons. Perfect weather the entire time. I even got to spend time with mom and the family in the backyard, soaking up sun with margaritas in hand.

It’s only been a year, but I feel like I’ve been gone longer! I’ve never moved out of California, so it’s been a hell of a year for me. I missed my mom most of all, so I’m glad we got in a lot of girl time. Mani-pedis, shopping, and gossiping late into the night. You know, I hate when people shorten words like “mani-pedis” but the alternative is “manicures and pedicures,” which just sounds clumsy.

Anyway, my trip home was a success. The dissertation is done. No big changes needed, so it will get turned in very soon. And I get to go by “Dr” now, but I think I’m only going to allow students to use it. Seems kinda pretentious to expect it from anyone else, don’t you think? I mean, do people still put it on their checks and use it to make restaurant reservations? Maybe I’ll use it with snooty people who cast dark glances at my tattooed arms. “Hi, I’m Dr. F, nice ta meetcha!”

Washington DC

Ahh, there’s nothing better than being home after a long trip. Traveling is always fun for me. I love airports and plane rides and the feeling of anticipation leading up to the actual trip. Conferences aren’t always in interesting cities, but Washington D.C. works great for someone like me because I love history and am endlessly entertained by museums.

I read Devil in the White City on the plane. Highly recommended if you love historical fiction! Not as good as The Historian, but still a great read.

To be frank, the conference wasn’t that great. That isn’t to say that it was a bad conference, it just wasn’t one geared to my interests, and as a result, the few sessions I went to had high expectations. Expectations they did not really live up to, I guess. It is tough to find a session with good topics, good approaches to those topics, and good presentation style to engage the audience. These three things are miraculous when they happen. I didn’t quite get that feeling this time around. That being said, some of the sessions I missed out on may have been really cool. I’m bummed that I missed out on a cool session on video games, and another one on The Wire. But the conference was only part of the reason for my trip. I got to meet up with some great longtime friends.


It was actually a reunion of sorts, as us grad students had once come together to Washington D.C. For this very conference in 2001, just two months after 9/11.

We felt it was important to go then, and I do remember the gash down the side of the pentagon, as well as the heightened security in the airports. I wanted to go this time and get a good look at the White House now that Obama is president. Of our group of 6 from 2001, only 3 of us were reunited. We reminisced about that old trip, but we also talked about how different things are, now that we are all either writing dissertations or post-doctoral and job seeking. The ASA Presidential Address by Kevin Gaines was excellent, but it was a little sad for me, as he reminded the crowd that the economic crisis has failed colleges and universities (and, as a result, working class students) across the nation, none more than those in California. These are troubling times.

Highlights from the trip:

Right when I got into town, I called up my pal Jeremy, who met up with me at the conference hotel. We had some appetizers for dinner and then I asked him to take me to a real bar. “A real bar?” “Yes, a real bar. Not a hotel bar, not a grill-pub, a dingy dirty bar.” One hour in DC and I was already over being surrounded by people in bad suits. We went to the Black Cat, which I loved immediately. Nothing feels better than a non-pretentious bar.
Randomly, the bottom floor of the bar is called "The Red Room" and is pretty much exactly like my local bar of the same name. Weird!

The next day, as I walked around near my hotel, I noticed that DC isn’t really big on diners. It was tough to find a decent place for breakfast. I looked up some options on Yelp! and found Lincoln’s Waffle House, which was great! Initially I thought I had missed out, because when I finally walked all the way to the address, this is what I saw:




But a sign mentioned that they moved a few doors down, so I managed to have my waffles after all.

Directly across the street from Ford’s Theater, Lincoln’s Waffle House is a non-touristy place to get great food cheaply and quickly. I was in and out in less than half an hour.


It’s right next door to the house Lincoln died in, which is morbid but also interesting to someone like me, who is fascinated by morbid details.

I went to a lot of museums. I mean a LOT of museums. The most interesting by far was the International Spy Museum, which was a very interesting look at spies and secret agents throughout the nation’s history. I was impressed by the way the museum both respected the job of the spy but also pointed out that becoming a spy is giving up your own personality and risking your life--something that only a particular kind of (bizarre) person would be willing to do. It was filled with lots of technological spy stuff, but also with stories of double agents and the increase in spy behavior during the Cold War. Basically, if you live in a building built during the Cold War in Russia, you probably have a bug in your house. It was so interesting that I didn't even take pictures, I just experienced the museum.



Another museum that was quite moving was the Holocaust Memorial Museum. I was lucky enough to go with a friend who studies holocaust museums, so I got a really good perspective on how the museum tells its story.

A while back, a white supremacist shot at the building and killed one of the guards. They still have a lot of security out front, one guard even had a bomb sniffing dog.I have studied the Holocaust since I was about 12 years old. Much of the more disturbing images and information I already knew. It doesn't make it less moving, but it did make me prepared for most of what I saw. The most moving part of the whole experience was a hallway that is two stories high, covered with old photographs.

As you walk through, you see all kinds of photos. Family photos, like one big giant album of everyone that existed in a town. People having fun. Women with their babies. Whole families. Wedding pictures. All of these photos come from a city in Bulgaria named Monastir. All of its inhabitants were Jews that were rounded up and sent to their deaths in Treblinka. A whole town full of people, gone forever. Looking in their faces was..well, I can't really explain the feeling. It's supposed to be moving, and you walk through it twice. Once through the top half on a suspended bridge, and after the section on the Final Solution, you find out that all of these people are dead and enter the bottom half. Even looking at the photo of the room now is tough.

Of course, I made a point to view the original Constitution and Declaration of Independence at the National Archives. I didn’t do it the last time around, and I’m a sucker for parchment. As are about a thousand other people who herded along, making it difficult to get a good view.

I noticed that the National Archives had a research section, so I went in and looked up some genealogical information about M’s family. I managed to find most of his grandparents’ census records, which gave me some good information about when his ancestors immigrated to the U.S. (so far, all of them came at the turn of the century). I hope to do more research once I move to the east coast.

Of course, as a fan of Bones, I had to go to the Jeffersonian, I mean, Smithsonian and look at some bones. There were very interesting displays about people they’ve dug up in the Chesapeake region from the earliest European colonists. The most heartbreaking was this one:


Unlike the children of the family, who got proper burials with grave markers, this grave is likely of a servant boy who died c.1663 and was buried in a shallow grave in the cellar along with some trash.

I did the Smithsonian Natural History museum, which wasn’t that interesting to me, but holy taxidermy Batman!

They were creative with the taxidermy as well, making the animals come to life (or meet their death) for eternity.


All in all, a successful trip in terms of the fun I had, not so successful career-wise, but it was nice to know I’m not alone in feeling the way I feel about teaching, job prospects, and other professor-related stuff. There is something absolutely beautiful about the east coast in the fall. Such beautiful colors and a comfortable coolness. I was happily walking around at night with my scarf and thick tights. Yay fall!

Conference

Remember how I'm a professor? I'm supposed to go to conferences to keep up with the field (and also to present my work in the field, but that's another story). Conferences can cost a lot of money if they are not in your area. Actually, just the registration fee can be up to $100, so it can be a pretty penny even if you live down the street. I have therefore avoided some of the cooler, more interesting conferences. I just couldn't rationalize the travel, hotel, and food costs. But every year, the American Studies Association has its annual conference. That one I try to go to when I can. Last time I attended was in 2007 for the Philadelphia conference. It made sense because it coincided with a trip to visit M's family and a chance to have an East coast celebration of our engagement. I didn't make it last year, but this year, I'm going. Oh, I'm still broke. In fact, I listed myself as "student" and "ASA member" so I could get the cheapie $25 registration fee. But I'm not staying in a dump, and I'm taking Jetblue right out of Long Beach, which is very convenient. One day, I'll look back on it and wonder if it was worth it. That day will probably be the day I get my credit card bill. But dammit, I feel isolated in my work and my vocabulary is going to shit (obvs.). I need a conference to jump start me again.

The theme this year is "Practices of Citizenship, Sustainability, and Belonging." There aren't a lot of sessions on digital culture, which is my bread and butter. In fact, I believe there are only two and one of them includes two faculty from my graduate institution (one of whom is on my dissertation committee). This, of course, doesn't mean I'm not excited about a variety of sessions and panels. Here's just a few that I'm really looking forward to:

• Death, Destruction, and Ruin in Nineteenth-Century America
• Old/New Technologies of Belonging: Books, YouTube, Mobile Devices, and the Sensuousness of Sustainable Futures
• Race and the Beauty Industry
• Bad Citizenship and Good Games: Video Gaming, Criminality and Citizenship
• Zombies and Vampires: Identifying American Anxieties over Alterity and Belonging

Yes, that's right, a session on vampires. I randomly chose to leave late on Sunday (an unbelievable 5:45 pm-totally uncharacteristic for me) and what was waiting for me? A Sunday morning panel on vampires. Ironically, it's at 8am, which is just downright insulting to the vampires who probably wanted to attend. Mad props to the ASA for examining the trend before it passes. That's a rarity for academic conferences.

Conferences can be weird, fun, intellectually stimulating, and sometimes intensely boring. You can find out something that changes your whole perspective on what you do, meet someone that understands your obsession with whatever it is that you call your "research interest." You may also realize that there are people who ask questions that intend to insult and injure--and they love going to conferences too. It makes presenters nervous as hell, it makes the other audience members kind of roll their eyes or be uncomfortable (and it just makes me angry--see pic above). When people talk about how online communities are so different from "real" communities because people can feel more comfortable insulting you in a virtual environment, I often think, "Have you ever been to a conference?"

The best thing about conferences is the camaraderie and the connections you make. This can be taken all sorts of places. Places I've never gone, if you're wondering. Mostly I love meeting up with my friends and talking with them about the good, the bad, and the ugly of the various sessions we attend. My friends are all over the country now, so it's extra nice to have a good excuse for getting together. We can even write it off on our taxes at the end of the year!

I'm also looking forward to real fall weather! Please don't be too scary, DC weather. I'm fragile.

Randomness

Another junkie talked to me randomly! This time at the coffee shop. This one was totally whacked out and had to be told to put a shirt on before coming in to the shop. He was laughing because I was reading a magazine and someone else was reading a book of poetry (yeah, I don't get it either). Am I some kind of junkie magnet? I'm starting to wonder. It could be a sign that my true calling is in drug rehabilitation. But that just can't be. I hate watching that show, Intervention. I don't care how much it might help others on the path to sobriety, I think that shit is personal and that your darkest moments should not be interspersed with ads for viagra and promos for Shark Week. I get really sad and anxious when I see Amy Winehouse these days. Drunks, however, are my people, and I can totally speak their language.

By the way, I forgot to mention this in my Denver post: if you get your boarding pass for a flight, check to see if there are 4 S's in the bottom corner, like this:

My friend Brande calls this the "Super Secret Special Search." Because that means you are getting the full on terrorist search at security. Yeah, fun times! Humorless security folk are going to take apart your stuff, open up our phone and laptop, and make you stand without your shoes for like, ever. Meanwhile, I had a whole bottle of Visine in my pocket that nobody confiscated or even noticed during the extended search. I don't really feel like much of a genius for fooling them with pants pockets. Nor do I feel any safer about air travel. The terrorists have already won, people. Random, but I thought you all might like the info!

Anyway, if you know me well, you know that I love Ikea furniture. One trip through my flickr site and you will know even if we've never met. I do. I can't apologize about it. I like the idea of beautiful modern arty furniture at affordable prices. I think it fits the philosophy of modern architects working in the 50s; the idea that everyone deserves a beautiful home, no matter their income level. As someone who can't afford vintage originals or fancy reproductions, Ikea is pretty much the next best thing. Plus, since it's fairly cheap, I can not worry about messing with it (check out the ikeahacker blog in my blog list to the right for ways people have altered Ikea furniture). This weekend, we are having a garage sale (if you are in the market for some gently used Ikea furniture, electronics, and kitchen stuff, come on by Saturday!). I am getting rid of the desks in the office, since we basically use our laptops in the living room only. Instead, our dining room is becoming a craft table in the office, which allowed me to make my most wanted Ikea purchase ever: the Docksta table.


A complete rip-off of the Saarinen tulip table from 1956, which would cost me close to a grand if I wanted the real deal. You see what I mean? I painted our original dining chairs white and added white chair pads. The whole dining area feels and looks bigger. Maybe we'll finally go back to eating in there.