Good Advice

This week was kind of crazy, what with dropping my iPhone at the gym and rendering it useless, dealing with feeling really run down, a vitamin that has destroyed my skin, and other apartment related things that suck. But I held fast and managed to feel optimistic despite it all. I know, a true American heroine, right?

Some great things about the week? I read a funny book, called I Don't Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I've Dated by Julie Klausner.
Not all books about dating losers are good. In fact, a lot of them are more like cautionary tales for married ladies. Like, "stay married, the single life is frightening!!" But this one was really great. There's a lot of funny stuff in there that I could totally relate to, and I like that the author seemed to understand there was a difference between dating losers because you have low self-esteem and dating losers because you are optimistic about someone's potential. She does both, but knows the difference. I am a sucker for these kinds of books because I have made my share of bad romantic choices. I am a blogger, a sarcastic one at that, so this is right up my alley, but I could never do this kind of writing. I guess because I didn't do a lot of dating before I met my husband, so not only would it be a short book, but it would be really obvious who I'm talking about! I couldn't be this revealing, because the internet bites back you know. All in good time.

Anyway, some gems from the book:

After a narcissistic asshole explains to her (lying in her bed no less) that they can't go out that night because he has a date, she gets furious with him, and he does the worst thing ever. He cries.

"Have you ever seen a grown man in the act of working himself up into a lather so that he can cry real tears in front of you? It's an excellent cure for being attracted to someone."

She starts one story with the excuse that she was drunk and says, "I know stories about "how wasted you were" are little-league, but the truth remains that when you drink, stupid things become silly, and who doesn't like laughing at things that are silly? That's right, nobody, and assholes."

It's not all quips and jokes, though. She gives some good advice. This one kind of embodies her optimism in the face of all these losers:

"If I'm iffy about being attracted to somebody right away, but he goes about pursuing me in a way I think is upstanding, I always give the guy a second chance. It's a way about being strict about your standards, but open minded about your contenders. Men are way more likely to become more appealing to you over time than they are to magically grow manners."

On dating a guy in a band, she reminisces on how boring it is to go to your boyfriends shows, and to talk to people about music. She also discusses that girlfriends will already be outsiders to the band comraderie, because "if you're going to be a musician's girlfriend, you have to know that your man will always love his band mates in a way you can't touch, because they are the guys that help him create music. You can only help him create a living human being, with your dumb uterus."

She then implores women who like guys in bands to try and learn an instrument and play in a band, because only then will they realize that a) it's not hard, and b) maybe it turns out you are more into musicians because you want to be one. Excellent advice!

I loved it. You should get it. The end.

Banned Books Week!

Hey folks, it's Banned Books Week! The American Library Association celebrates Banned Books Week each year as a way of celebrating the First Amendment and the freedom to read. And also to let everyone know that despite the First Amendment, people still call for censorship of certain materials, especially in schools.

Click HERE for the ALA's official list of banned books. You can sort through them by year, author, statistics, and other random searches.

They even have a list of the most frequently challenged authors of color (Here). Toni Morrisson pretty much rules that list.

Top 10 Challenged books of 2008:

1. And Tango Makes Three, by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell
Reasons: anti-ethnic, anti-family, homosexuality, religious viewpoint, and unsuited to age group

2. His Dark Materials trilogy, by Philip Pullman
Reasons: political viewpoint, religious viewpoint, and violence

3. TTYL; TTFN; L8R, G8R (series), by Lauren Myracle
Reasons: offensive language, sexually explicit, and unsuited to age group

4. Scary Stories (series), by Alvin Schwartz
Reasons: occult/satanism, religious viewpoint, and violence

5. Bless Me, Ultima, by Rudolfo Anaya
Reasons: occult/satanism, offensive language, religious viewpoint, sexually explicit, and violence

6. The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky
Reasons: drugs, homosexuality, nudity, offensive language, sexually explicit, suicide, and unsuited to age group

7. Gossip Girl (series), by Cecily von Ziegesar
Reasons: offensive language, sexually explicit, and unsuited to age group

8. Uncle Bobby's Wedding, by Sarah S. Brannen
Reasons: homosexuality and unsuited to age group

9. The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini
Reasons: offensive language, sexually explicit, and unsuited to age group

10. Flashcards of My Life, by Charise Mericle Harper
Reasons: sexually explicit and unsuited to age group

Kill or Be Killed

I did an informal survey of books about vampires at Barnes & Noble today. Just walking around I noticed the vampire books displays, as I have for the past year or so, strewn about. They aren't even adjacent to the Twilight displays anymore because they no longer need to be. They are everywhere. And as Neil Gaiman has noted, this vampire genre thing is starting to get played out. Which means delicious low-rent covers and stories are all over!!! So I took pictures of the many covers I found. The covers, as well as the stories within them, are a clear indication that women seem to drive the genre. Just take a look at this stuff, it's hilarious!

You have your teen vampire/paranormal novels, filled with angsty goodness. Many of them are what you would expect:



All very passive imagery here, even for the books where the protagonist is a female vampire! There were some exceptions, but very few. A lot of these novels are obviously capitalizing on the success of the Twilight series and its central character, klutzy, co-dependent Bella Swan. Some of these novels have stronger heroines, and the Chosen book is actually a very female-centered novel about a girl and her best friend. But books like Untamed (by the same author!) are pretty much about trying/wishing/spending all day thinking about being popular and having a boyfriend.

Here's a few exceptions: # 1 your defiant teenage guy, flaunting his vampireness. Note the requisite bangs that are on every guy these days. I swear I wore that haircut in the mid-90s.



They are both about 8th grader Vladmir Tod, who goes to, no joke-Bathory High School. Lots of addressing his blood lust and how difficult it is for him not to feed on those around him. That doesn't seem to be a big problem for the girl protagonists, though. Maybe the whole "my boyfriend wants to kill me/love me" scenario that is so popular with Twilighters is not as successful in reverse. Hmmm.....

I thought this one was clever. Often I want to tell the vampire characters in novels to just suck it up and be a vampire already. Or kill yourself. Whatever, just move on!


Black is for Beginners has a graphic novel quality to its cover, with the girl in front of the boy, no less:

I think this title, plus the chesty tattooed shirtless guy made me laugh, but I'm comedically about 13 years old.
Bones!

Don't blame the kids (or publishers perceptions of teen aesthetics) for the silly covers. Roll on over to the mystery and sci-fi fantasy displays for some fun ones like California Demon. Plays on words, bloody puns...it's too much.

Oh, and there were tons of covers that feature women with bare midriffs, tight clothing, and phallic instruments of vampire destruction:


Lots of tribal tattoos, I've noticed. Both on the vamps and the slayers (and especially the slayers who love vamps).

The whole "I love you but I also want to eat you for dinner" story is fascinating to me, of course. But far more sinister to me is the "I spend my life hunting your kind down and you should all be destroyed but I can't help wanting to have lots of sex with you" story. It strikes too close to the idea of racism and how racism works in this culture to be a pleasurable sexy story for me. The idea that you ascribe certain uncivilized and monstrous traits to a group of people and therefore cannot admit that you harbor any inkling of such traits, but of course you do, so then in order to deal with it you project your self-loathing onto the group by eliminating/dominating them. Tons of the books on the shelves are about the same thing. And the best-selling stories in the genre are as well (Anita Blake, Buffy, etc.). Anyway, moving on...

This one was an interesting take on the genre:

He's a vampire! And an Agent! He's Vampire Agent! And he doesn't have to wear a crop top to fight! (If you sing it, it makes a damn fine theme song)

So that was fun, right. Wait, it gets better. Where could it get any better, you might ask? I mean, what section would offer more? You guessed it, the romance novel section, which doesn't even mess around. They are all about dudes who want to have sex with you and have you for dinner, and about how someone wanting to kill you is the sexiest thing you've ever heard.

Case in point:



Apparently the "Lord of Sin" likes frilly cuffs on his shirts and cocktail rings. Who knew?


I know, these are about werewolves, but it's the same deal. Werewolf and werewolf slayer fall in love. Will they have puppies and live happily ever after? Only if he learns to stop himself before slashing her to pieces every month! And if she can ever get over having sex with a person she considers to be a dirty animal! Oh those two!


Dude, is Heather Graham the actress writing romance novels? Because that sounds amazing!



This one is about an immortal, but not a vampire (its complicated and demony), but the bare midriff mantra remains.


I actually like this cover, even though it has a girl with dead-face on it, because of the script and the black-white-red color scheme. I looked at the synopsis of the story and apparently it's about a guy named Allen Cabbot, recruited by his professor to get involved in a big adventure. He then "finds himself tangling with Battle Jesuits, a Society of Witches and a vampire, and he learns that Evergreen's real goal may be the philosopher's stone. The feisty ghost of 16th-century alchemist Edward Kelley serves as narrator, complaining about the picture on his Wikipedia entry while explaining the history behind Allen's adventure." Sounds tongue in cheek. May be worth it?

An now, the piece de resistance:


Yes, you read it right, Tall, Dark & Fangsome. The story is actually the reverse of the tale I mentioned way up in the teen fiction section. A lady vampire who has been cursed with being extra murderous or something and has to stop herself before she kills the guys she falls in love with.

My favorite little contribution to this list was something that I totally thought was a vampire novel, just from the red text, but it turns out has nothing to do with vampires, which is good, because that name is so awful, it would have to be a hack writer. That being said, wtf is up with that name? Eric Van Lustbader? For reals, Eric?



Sigh, it could be worse, of course. I mean, I could be reading about chicks who are into dragons.


Fighting dragons in drapey club wear. Not smart.

Judge a Book by its Cover

A new blog about book covers that is hilarious. Newest entry? A book titled "Pregnesia."

click it.

http://judgeabook.blogspot.com/

Let the Right One In

Ever since Tiny Heat recommended it, I've had Let the Right One In (aka Låt den rätte komma in) on my Netflix queue. I've been researching vampire stories for my upcoming pop culture class in the fall. Working my obsessions into my work is easy with my job, thankfully! What I've been looking at is the history of vampirism (the invention of the vampire, its original lore in different parts of the world, its use as a metaphor). So in addition to the vampire movie and books I already love, I'm seeking out stories that try to add to and/or mess with the conventions of the myth. Let the Right One In is just that kind of story.

Now, you know me. I don't need an excuse to watch a vampire movie. Whatever, it was the last day I had to be available for students before the final. I came home from an extended endless office hour (or 5 hours) of lonliness and decided to treat myself with a movie. M. was taking a nap and he said that some of the noises from the movie were freaking him out in his sleep. That's how awesome this film is!

It's a Swedish film, and since I haven't heard Swedish spoken much and I hate dubbing, I read the English subtitles just so I could listen to it. Worth it. It's always worth it. I can't think of anything worse than dubbing.

This was such a good film. Not like a vampire film you know. Dark, haunting yes, but also more about lonliness and adolescence. And what it might really feel like to live next door to a vampire. Someone who needs blood to live, and whose hunger is dangerous. And what it might cost you to be a vampire in the guise of a 12 year-old girl.

It's about a 12 year old boy who is horrfiically bullied at school. He gets a new neighbor, a young girl and what seems to be her father/guardian. Turns out, his neighbor is a vampire. In the course of the story, they develop a friendship. She has been 12, it seems, for a long time.

I don't want to spoil it, but there is one addition to the vampire lore that isn't super consequential to the story. You know the whole aspect of vampire mythology about being "invited" in to a residence? A vampire has to be invited in order to be allowed to cross a threshold. Usually, it's a magical invisible barrier that prevents her or him from entering (at least in TV/movies). In this film, the vampire, Eli, asks to enter, but her friend, the central character, Oskar, questions the reality of the myth. He beckons her to come in with his finger, but never says it out loud. To test her. She comes in. She starts to shake. Then, blood pours from her eyes, ears, and mouth. Finally, her scalp and other pores start to bleed. It's almost as if she rejects the blood she's taken as punishment for not being invited. The pic above is the aftermath of her experience. Interesting penance, I thought.

It's a solemn, brooding, quiet film. It has interesting lighting and sound, and hints at things it never explains. But honestly, the last scenes were so intense and amazing and full of satisfaction that I ordered the book, written by John Ajvide Lindqvist. I would read the story, with MORE detail, even though I know how it ends. In the book, the vampire is androgynous, and there is a moment in the film where Eli says "I'm not a girl." So maybe I'm just taking some cues from the actress. Sadly, the author looks like this:

I heard there is a US remake in the works, filming now, called "Let Me In" because well, the whole Morrissey reference is apparently lost on Hollywood. But you should see this one. It's beautiful and scary and thoughtful. Don't wait.

All Things Readerly

In another life, I was a librarian. "NO!" you say. How could it be? Well yes, this self-described nerd with glasses was a librarian. Not really in another life. It was this life, just a bunch of years ago. And I wasn't really a librarian, but a Librarian's assistant.I remember when I got the job, my mom told me that finally my wardrobe would be put to good use. She accused me of dressing like a librarian before I even got that job. I worked in the local history room of a public library. As far as jobs go, it was pretty damn cool. Libraries are wonderful "public trust" institutions that cater to the needs of the community. Even though I worked in the local history room, everyone had to do time at the main reference desk. I helped little kids with homework, divorcees with legal questions, new drivers with internet directions, anything you can think of asking someone, I probably got asked.

A public library is a place where you can go to hang out even if you aren't interested in books. Believe me, many people used it as a way to loiter without loitering. Homeless folks would come to find a seat or air conditioning or heat; whatever the case may be. Bizarre people come into the library and ask questions you would never have thought you'd have to deal with, such as, "Do you have any books about retarded girls? Like with pictures in them?" or "Why is this novel about Jesus in the "fiction" section? It's a TRUE STORY." I made purchases for the religion, history, philosophy, and self-help sections for the library. I bought a few Satanic books (you know, to give some balance to the section) and people would hide them above the super-tall shelves so that nobody would check them out and get all Satanic or whatever. I bought more copies of those books than any other! Their plan was to stop the spread of Satanism, and here I was tossing more cash at those Satanist authors.

While there I learned a lot about local history, genealogy, the amazing thing that is interlibrary loan (any book you want in the world can be yours!), and I also learned a lot about my neighborhood. I recommend it if you are looking for a job that keeps you intellectually stimulated, that makes you feel like you are doing an important service to your community, that is different every day. Really, contrary to popular belief, public libraries are not boring at all.

So today's post is about reading, libraries, and keeping endangered publications alive. Check out these links:

Anarchist Librarians is a blog/site about socially responsible libraries and librarians. They host book fairs, explore issues of book banning and government use of library records in "terrorist" searches. A great site that's been running a long time.

Radical Reference is a site run by volunteer librarians committed to social justice. If you have a information needs, they provide research services like a reference desk would.

Free Books!
PaperBackSwap.com

I am a devout keeper and re-reader and underliner of books, so I prefer to buy them and have them on a shelf. It's almost like a form of book worship. They are living things to me, almost. Changing over time. I will find sometimes that I totally disagree with my comments in the margins written years ago. I will find new passages to love that I overlooked before. But, some people don't hoard books like I do. Some read a novel and send it on its way to the Library donation or in a garage sale, or worse, just to a dark corner of a garage. If you want to be free from cumbersome (try moving with a ton of books...not much fun) books but still be a reader and save some cash, try PaperBackSwap.com. You can swap books with people for just the price of postage. Post a list of books you are willing to send out, and look for a book you would like. You can even keep it if you want. There's this "credits" economy you got to keep track of in order to request more books, but as long as you are circulating books, you should be fine.



Free Audio Books!

Librivox

LibriVox volunteers record chapters of books in the public domain and release the audio files back onto the net. Our goal is to make all public domain books available as free audio books.

Also, If you love Bitch Magazine like I do, please read (reprinted from their website):

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Subscribe! Send subscriptions to friends! Buy a subscription for your academic department! Donate! This magazine makes me happy every month. Do it for feminism. For bitchery. For me.