40 American Christmases

Have I ever told you my American Tale? Remember the movie An American Tail, about Fivel Mouskevitz, the animated Russian mouse who makes his way from Russia to America?

I totally remember that movie. I can still sing some of the songs and I don't think I've seen it in over 15 years. It came out in 1986, at which time I was about 9. I know that it seemed incredibly scary, the move to a totally different country. Of course, Fivel was separated from his family and had to navigate the new world by himself (see, scary!). But still, it's his immigration story. I don't have one, of course, I was born about 15 miles from where I'm typing this, but my family's story is an interesting one. And the fall/winter of 2009 marks the 40th anniversary of their journey from Cuba to America. Kind of a big deal, I'd say.

1969

Over 52,000 Cubans emigrated to the US in 1969. My mom's side of the family came over that year. My mother with her four siblings and two parents came in September. By October, the anti-war demonstrations in the US had reached epic proportions. In November, 500,000 people marched on Washington against the war. While hippies were dancing in Berkeley's People's Park, my mom and her family were adjusting to life outside of a dictatorship. Seeing American flags burn on the nightly news must have been quite the trip for a group of kids who were trained to sing the revolutionary anthem while assembling rifles. The Cuban educational system's motto, 'Estudio, Trabajo, Fusil' means "Study, Work, Rifle."


They settled in Lennox, a small town adjacent to Inglewood and LAX airport in southern California.

Cuba's immigration history is long and interesting. Since the United States has a history of instituting quotas for immigration from certain countries, people often hung out in Cuba, waiting to enter the U.S. This is partly how Cuba developed a variety of Asian, Jewish, and European enclaves. My family's history before Cuba is a mystery. The genealogical documents about when and how my family got to Cuba in the first place is all locked up over there, in databases and files that I can't access. Vague recollections and family gossip place them in Spain, Scotland, and Ireland. But I do have info on the immigration from Cuba to the U.S.

Both mom and dad came over (separately) on the Freedom Flights, the second wave of immigration after the Cuban communist revolution. The first wave was full of all of the rich folks, who could afford to jet out of Cuba as soon as Castro took power. Despite increases in available health care, education, and the enfranchisement of black Cubans, some of the revolutionary policies were seen as unbearable. The Freedom Flights assisted the middle and lower-middle classes, who had become increasingly dissatisfied with the policies curtailing political freedom and eliminating private property (some 55,000 small businesses were closed down by the government in an effort to eliminate private property in 1968). President Lyndon Johnson allowed for daily chartered flights to assist Cubans who wanted to permanently leave Cuba.

I now have my grandmother's and mother's Cuban passports, stamped with "Nulo" or void, which meant they couldn't return home because their passports were no longer valid.


Picture day for the passports was probably not a fun day, if their faces are any indication. Truly any bureaucratic appointment with 5 kids would probably be a nightmare. My mom says she is angry in this picture because she was bummed on her new haircut, which was too short for her taste.

These passports are powerful reminders of the consequences such a decision created for a young family. People who applied to leave were generally treated suspect, as they were defecting, and were given strict rules about leaving. Called "anti-revolutionaries," they were subject to a number of indignities.

In the case of my family, my grandfather was sent to work in the sugar cane fields far from home (quite the change of pace for a banker), while my grandmother cared for 5 small children by herself. Already accustomed to life under the regime, she had quite the side business making shoes out of old rubber tires and selling them on the black market so that she could get more ration cards or trade for goods that would feed her kids and make life bearable. My uncle (the oldest kid) has a story about how he was singled out in front of his whole school as a traitor on a day he thought he was getting an award. They haven't told me too much about what happened during the processing on their way out, but I gather it was a stressful and humiliating few days.

Leaving was the promise of something better, so they got out as soon as they could. They couldn't take much, and many of their family photos had to be mailed to them later, but they arrived in Florida and came to California, hoping to settle forever. You see, my family aren't the kind who are waiting to return, living in "exile." Many Cubans live "en exilio," waiting to return to Cuba to...well...I'm not sure what exactly they plan to do, but they believe that they were forced to leave a place they loved and that they want to go back there. Even so, my grandmother didn't become a citizen until the early years of this decade, just a few years before she passed away from pancretic cancer in 2004.

When she traveled to Spain in the 80s, she had to get some kind of passport. Due to her interesting situation (resident alien, Cuban refugee) her passport had this to say:


It must seem very strange and vulnerable to have no country. To feel like a stranger in your own home, so to speak. I wish now that I had asked her about that, and how she managed to make that kind of decision for such a large group of kids.

Just the other day I was talking to my mom about House Hunters International on HGTV, the show about buying a house in a different country. She and her husband (my step-dad, who was born in Mexico) were both fascinated with the show. They were talking about how "crazy" it must be to make the decision to move to a different country. To which I said "Hello!? You both did the exact same thing!" How quickly 40 years changes things.

This picture is of their first Christmas. They didn't have much, but they did have a tree and new, plastic covered couches. De rigueur for 1969.

Their story is one of many. In fact, a new PBS documentary about the Freedom Flights called My Suitcase Full of Hope just screened this past May and I just ordered the DVD today. I'm hoping to get a broader picture of their journey so I can ask my mom, aunts, and uncles some good questions.

On the eve of my mom's 40th American Christmas, I'm looking forward to celebrating the traditional Noche Buena (Good Night) a Christmas Eve party all about family and food. I'm planning to shadow her preparation of the dinner, so I can give you a good rundown of recipes and how they changed on the trip over.

Stuff on My Mind

Well it has been quite a few days since my last post. I've been busy and tired, alternately. I went to order my new glasses yesterday, and they won't be in until Tuesday, but they are pretty. And expensive. My vision insurance covers a new pair of glasses every 2 years, and I just got the sunglasses in August so I had to pay out of pocket. Arg. At least I had some money saved up.

I just remembered that I have a spare set that is maybe 2 or 3 prescriptions behind, but will do in a pinch (like when I take the dog out at the crack of dawn and return to bed).

There's some crazy family stuff going on lately. The big C has reared its ugly head again with M's mom, who has to have a surgery and biopsy next week, and Miguel (my mom's M) is getting second opinions about his chemotherapy course. His doctors want him to stop chemo treatments to avoid the onset of leukemia (a side effect of extended chemotherapy), but stopping could allow the tumor to grow larger. And some close friends of M's family just lost their uncle to pancreatic cancer, which is the same form of cancer my grandmother died of (and the cancer that Patrick Swayze and that Last Lecture professor, Randy Pausch had). Unfortunately for many, the first sign of pancreatic cancer shows itself when it has already spread to other organs. A diagnosis comes with not much time left (my grandmother had about two months from diagnosis until the end).

There are just too many people in my life that have been affected by cancer. And the waiting. The waiting everyone has to do. Wait for the next available appointment with the oncologist (1 -2 weeks), wait for the lab tests or MRI results to come in (another 2 weeks), wait for the doctor to be available to explain the course of action, wait to see if the chemo is doing its job, it is endless. I know it is hard on the patient, but it is also hard on the primary care giver as well, who shuttles off to doctor's appointments, creates special meals, and in general makes life somewhat bearable during treatment. It just seems so unfair.

The American Cancer Society has an amazing website where you can find out information and connect with other people who are going through the same stuff, for any of you that are interested. Also, if you'd like to donate in memory, in honor, or in general, you can do it through their site here. On that same site, you can also find cancer awareness events in your area. I did the Relay for Life one year and it was a great way to honor my grandmother. To advocate, participate, or volunteer for ACS's projects, you can also click here.

I watched Obama's state of the nation address the other day. He mentioned the importance of supporting cancer research and health care reform. I watched the whole thing from beginning to end and I realized that I haven't watched one of those in 8 years! Every time GW would get on the television and start talking, I would get angry and his voice would just make my blood boil. I waited for the transcript the next day if I even wanted to read it at all. What a difference, right? Obama is such a good speaker and was even personable and it seemed that he actually believed what he was saying, as opposed to reading a speech he is supposed to believe in. I hope some things start changing, because it seemed like, given the standing Os every 15 seconds, that there are people in that room who are on board with this whole "science is real," "rich folks don't need tax cuts," "decent affordable medical care is a right" thing.

Sarah Haskins Rules

There are some things that make me happy. Today, mostly, it has been my dear friend:
But mostly, smart funny feminist humor makes me happy. I know that for many, "feminist humor" seems like an oxymoron. And that while it is true that feminists have made analyzing humor our business (with good reason), we have this stern, matronly reputation. Which makes me heart Sarah Haskins and her installments in the Current.tv series Target Women. Here's a few awesome ones:

Chick Flicks



Number Two



Disney Princesses


Have I mentioned how amazing Current TV is? It's better than real TV will ever be.

Friday Finds

Etsy screen-printed goodness

Everything is relatively cheap and screen-printed. I used to be big into screen printing, but I let it go by the wayside. My in-laws got us a screen printing setup last December and we still haven't put it to good use. These are giving me some inspiration, but I am thinking of doing something beyond cotton clothing....the gears are turning...



http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=82284
Amazing uterus/fallopian tube undies. Not shown to scale!


Octopus hoodie from DeadWorry



British solution to chaos, from Blu Lima
Another good shirt from Dead Worry

Los Angeles Palm Screen Print by MiriamDema


I know a lot of Etsy sites use American Apparel, which thankfully is not an overseas sweat shop, but the more I read about Dov Charney, the less I am willing to buy American Apparel. Check out this video. You will be as squicked out as I am about his whole kit and kaboodle.

Thoughts on the Future

You know what I'm not going to miss?

Mispronunciation of the word "nuclear." Nooo Clee Err. Not Nu Cu Lar. It's not even one of those words that's spelled in such a way that it's trying to trick you like "rough."

The whole "cowboy" thing.

Invented words like "stability-ites" and "misunderestimate"

Thinking that Will Ferrel's impersonation is hilarious and then being sad about it being so true to life.

What I am looking forward to?

A president with some class.

Maybe it will be catching.

Make it Happen People

I hope you are voting tomorrow. Unless you are like me and have voted absentee. It sucks the fun out of Election Day, because you are anxious about the election from the moment you send off your ballot in the mail. Also because you don't get any props for voting without an "I voted" sticker. Making my own sticker and wearing it around would just be sad. I heard you get some freebies at Ben & Jerry's and Starbucks for voting, which sounds kinda shady, but at the same time, with no sticker, I miss the boat on those as well. At least I have the satisfaction of civic duty.

I get the idea that some people feel like their vote doesn't count, because you know, the whole electoral voters thing, which is outdated and basically kept alive to ensure the two party system remains firmly entrenched. But seriously, there are some awfully disgusting propositions on the ballot here in California that would challenge some serious gains that have managed to get past the latest Bush-led Republican era. And some new ones that threaten to place us in Medieval times. I hear in Colorado there is an amendment to the state constitution proposed that would define any fertilized embryo as "human." Seriously? Seriously. Some forms of contraception, and even in-vitro fertilization could be considered illegal. A laywer could represent a zygote in court. Has the whole world gone mad?

I will be watching Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert on what promises to be their finest of comedic moment. Nothing beats the love and warmth of the TV hug these two guys give me every four years. If loving them is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

Where did you get those awesome election lollipops, you ask? They aren't lollipops. They are cupcake bites and I think the idea is truly amazing. Cake mix. Cream cheese frosting. Chocolate shell. Cuteness. Yep, all good things accounted for.

Apparently, Bakerella has been making them for a while and she has come up with some pretty cool ideas for how to decorate them since the April entry I linked to here. Click the link, it's worth the look. Search her site for some super sweet Halloween, Father's Day, and 4th of July decorated cupcake bites as well.

Because we got through my gangster film section fairly quickly and my students are freaking out about their papers, I decided to make Weds morning about research/office hours instead of an actual class meeting. I will be in my office in case they want to meet me for whatever reason. I am secretly glad it worked out this way, since now I don't have to face the world quite so early if McCain wins (I had massive depression in 2000 and 2004-esp. 2004), and I can fully celebrate after the polls close if Obama wins (cocktails!).

Here's hoping.

Haterade

Two Things

Number one:


I am a big fan of the HGTV show If Walls Could Talk because I am a history dork and an architecture dork. If you've never heard of this show, they basically examine historical homes and the homeowners' historical finds. There is a grody capitalist part where they get an appraiser in to tell them how much their silver doorknobs are worth, but most of the show is about examining the history of the place. Who lived there. What was interesting about them. I love the way the show takes big events like Prohibition and explores how they touched individuals. The speakeasy shows are my favorite. Imagine that your house was a speakeasy in the 1920s? How much cooler is that than owning a condo built in the 80s?

I find it kind of odd when people restore homes down to the decor and furniture. It is kinda weird to live in a museum of 1735, but many of them talk about their homes like they are important links to the past, which is nice. Some of them even consider themselves "stewards" of the homes, rather than just homeowners. The implication being their own needs and desires are not as important as the public good the home will provide.

My problem, or my "thing" with HGTV's presentation of these homes is that sometimes they seem to gloss over or leave out important little facts. Like for instance, SLAVERY. Many of the restored historic homes are in the South and many of them are former plantations. At least three times, I remember seeing episodes where family members bought back their old family plantations and restored them. And you know what? Not one of those shows mentioned slavery. One went so far as to associate the original homeowner with Eli Whitney, the inventor of the cotton gin. A cotton plantation and no mention of slaves? Clearly the families were quite prominent. They go to great lengths to show how interesting or sweet these people were. Not a peep about slavery. I call bullshit on that. Sorry HGTV, nice try, but you aren't doing history. You suck at it, actually.

Second Thing:

I saw an Asian American woman in an SUV today on my way home. The back of her SUV had a sticker that said "McCain Palin 08."

And then my head exploded.

Now, Asian American women can be conservative politically, and many are. I know there are organizations like Asian Americans for McCain. I guess I'm not offended that she was Republican. But McCain!? He used "gook" in a sentence. And that sentence was "I hated the gooks." And he followed that sentence with, "I will hate them as long as I live."

I'm starting to get freaked out. Two weeks left.

Anyway, this is a good opportunity to direct you to another awesome blog:
Angry Asian Man

Friday - Reference Sites

The internet is a big place. So big that you sometimes just don't have the time or the know-how to find what you need to stay informed. Here are a few sites that might help:

Factcheck.org is a non-profit/non-partisan group of researchers who check the facts that politicians use in debates, commercials, speeches.

On the Issues is also non-partisan. It helps you find out what every candidate thinks on every issue. And how they vote on them.

Open Secrets is non-profit/non-partisan. They provide info on campaign finances. Isn't it interesting to know that big tobacco spends about 62% of its donations on Republican candidates and 38% on Democrats....

I always use the SmartVoter.org site to figure out what's up with all the superior court judges who are up for election. I like to know what they've been up to.

If you spend about an hour or so looking over this stuff when you get your sample ballot, you'll feel like a million bucks, I swear. You'll never know what a million bucks looks like, but maybe these sites can help you assess who's to blame.

Bookmark 'em.

The Blood is the Liiiife

Today is my "day off" or as I like to call it, my "day where I do everything I was supposed to do last week." I usually do some research and writing in the early am, then take a break and go back to work on teaching stuff in the afternoon. I had a ton of assignments to grade, so I couldn't get much disseratation stuff done. I dread the midterms that are approaching, because 180 of them is kind of a lot. Anyway, I finished the grading and got to work on prepping for tomorrow's lectures. Then I got bored and realized that tomorrow is October 1st. The first day of my month-long celebration of Halloween.

I don't really do anything other than decorate, harass my friends into making plans for the 31st, and provide candy in a dish to anyone who visits, but this year I got really crafty for some reason. I have a big photo dump over on flickr for those interested in more than just these few pictures. The theme this year is skeletons and vampires. Vampires are big in pop culture lately what with the Twilight book series, True Blood, and all that jazz, so I figured I'd take all the pictures of people in my living room and turn them into vamps. Behold Joan Jett:


This classy wreath I made myself out of lime green silk flowers and plastic skeletons.




This I made with a little bit of black card stock, bat shaped ribbon, and double sided tape. This lamp isn't the best looking thing in my living room, but for one month out of the year, he is a beauty.

Oh, and I almost forgot. I applied to be a poll worker on election day! I hope I get selected to help out. I have never actually voted at a poll--I always do the absentee ballot thing because it is easier and my vote gets counted early--so it's a bit ironic (doncha think?), but I figure I don't work on Tuesdays, I speak Spanish, and I'd hate to see someone leave a poll because they can't figure it out or feel intimidated, especially in Long Beach where there are plenty of English-as-a-second-language folks. I would bake cupcakes and everything. You all are voting right?

PSA

Great sites to check out:

http://womenagainstsarahpalin.blogspot.com/
Great site with quotes from notable women on progress and feminism, as well as the thoughts of everyday women around the country about Sarah Palin.

IMPALIN'
hee

Palin on the Issues
I love this "on the issues" site. Check out anyone you want!

Register to Vote
Seriously, it's a big deal. Vote. If you don't think it matters, vote anyway. What's the worst that could happen? If you vote absentee you don't even have to leave your house. VOTE.

But my new "must check" blog is Cake Wrecks: When Professional Cakes Go Horribly, Hilariously Wrong

My faves?








Speaking of food, I had Korean BBQ with M. on Thursday and I'm still thinking about it. So yummy.
I had the pork bulgogi and seafood-tofu soup that came out boiling in a cauldron. Spicy and really tasty.



True Blood is on tonight. Even though I have a ton of work to do for class tomorrow, that is foremost on my mind. It is deviating from the books in interesting ways. Has anyone seen any paranormal, mythical, fantasy type shows that I might like to start watching?? Pass your recommendations here. I have TiVo, but not Showtime.

Happy Sunday.

Side Show

Awesome Lizzie Borden figurine

I spent the weekend detoxing from the intense pressure of turning in my chapter. Saturday was filled with silly computer things (I learned about the amazingness of free pattern, action, and brush downloads for Adobe Photoshop! They are cool and FREE. My favorite). I also watched a series of History Channel, Travel Channel and Discovery Channel shows on all things weird. There was the show about creepiest tourist places (#1, Lizzie Borden murder house-now a B&B), a Salem Witch Trials show, a show about side shows during the 19th century, and a show about San Francisco hauntings. M. hates these shows because he hates re-enactments, but I find them highly entertaining. And because I know how hard it is to put together a visual representation of historical events. It takes all my effort to put together a good powerpoint, I can't imagine having to do a documentary.
The 19th century side show program was my favorite. It showcased your freaks, your magicians, and your spiritualists. Ways in which the "giants" and little people were photographed so as to exaggerate their stature. Tattooed ladies were a big draw during an era when you really didn't see a lot of the female body. Oh, and it was hosted by David Carradine for no reason whatsoever. That was the freakiest part, I think.
The show about ghosts in San Francisco was a let down. I watch a lot of these silly haunting shows, mostly because I am fascinated by the possibility of life after death, but also because I had a bad experience once and want to know what other people have dealt with. Well, one thing you don't see a lot of - any of - on these shows or in the stories passed down through urban legends is gay ghosts. What's up with that? I mean, many hauntings involve tragic sudden deaths, deaths by suicide. It is given as the rationale for haunting - a spirit that doesn't realize they are dead or does not want to "move on." I can't help but think of the tragedy and suicide that must have riddled the GLBT communities in centuries past. I said this aloud, after the SF episode ended, and M. argued that it might be a little difficult to tell your ghost was gay. True. But I think at least one drag queen is out there haunting somebody. Come on! That is a fierce haunting right there.

If I was organizing the afterlife (which I would totally try to do), I would start a petition to have drag queens and queers of all kinds haunt hate mongers. I think it would be fun. Like Divine could totally haunt Pat Robertson.

This could stretch into other hate monger areas as well. Think of the beauty and the irony of the KKK being haunted? Now this puts more fear into the world, it's true, but after a while, hate wouldn't be so popular what with the ghostly deterrent.

So basically, I turned my brain off this weekend. My new show (True Blood) starts tonight. Turn on HBO. Watch it. Give feedback. I can't wait!

rules

St. Mom

I spoke to my mom today about my whole eye thing, and the first thing she said was, "I can give you my cornea," to which I said, "you can't just give your cornea away. You kind of need it." Her response was, "What do I need one cornea for? You can have it. I don't have to see out of both eyes, but you do." How crazy is that? My vision is a little blurry. It's not like I wear an eye patch! This struck me as a very "mom" thing to say. I thought it was incredibly amusing, but she was serious. She kept reminding me that she was serious on the phone before we hung up.

What does this have to do with McCain's VP choice or the Virgin Mary? Well, it made me think of moms and the expectation of sacrifice and devotion that is rarely applied to fathers. Palin is a mom, and one that is getting put through the ringer in a way I kind of expected. Now, I dislike this woman's policies, and I would never in a million years vote for her and as an American am pretty embarrassed that she could be the first woman VP (what with the ties to big oil, her anti-abortion stance, and her apparent hatred of Alaskan bears- both the animals and the gay men). That being said, there's all this discussion going around the webs and tvs concerning her ability to be a good VP and be a good mother at the same time. She's got a special needs infant, a teen-aged daughter that is pregnant, and I think three other kids that are so freaking glad right now that they aren't "mommy's little PR problem." I keep hearing about "how could she do a good job with the country if she can't run her family right?" Or, "how could she focus on VP duties with an infant and pregnant daughter?"

Curiously, these are not questions that anyone ever asked of the men who have run for VP. "Who is going to take care of your kids, Dan Quayle? Al Gore?" "Don't you think they need a father more than the country needs a VP?" I can't think of even men in managerial positions in offices that I have worked in being asked these questions. "Bill, are you sure you can handle being accounts manager of the entire company what with three young kids at home? Isn't it a little bit selfish?" How weird is it to think about those questions applied to men. It is 2008! I can forgive the lack of flying cars and food that zaps into existence out of nowhere, but the whole "women are nurturers and men are providers" stuff is way too behind, culturally, for me. And this is a big question for political pundits (who, by the way, are all such bottom feeders).

Some days I just wish we could appoint Amy Goodman as Journalism Czar. She could go from network to network and hit bad reporters and pundits on the back of the hand with a ruler and make them write ethical standards over and over again until they get them right. She could ban all hairspray from TV news broadcasts. She would erase Lauren Sanchez and the entire My 13 news team from our memories. They'd just be a bad bad dream... Oh Amy, I wish it were so.

clear as day

Wow, I love the polls I keep putting up. I guess most of you are really into your jobs, which is great! Many of us wish we made more, which is not so great. But in this economy, at least we're employed, right?

The ghost poll is interesting too. Such diverging answers. Either totally yes (most of you) or totally no. I'm debating whether or not to tell my true-life ghost story. I don't want to be thought of as a crazy person though. But who cares. Maybe next time.

I got news today from my eye doctor that I have permanent corneal scarring from the ulcers in my left eye. I will always see a little blurry. Very sad news. I am going to go back in a week to get my eyes tested and they might be giving me a stronger prescription for the left eye (which used to be my "good" eye by the way, prescription-wise). That might make things easier. I guess everybody needs their eyes, but I think without sight, I couldn't really do my job. I often wonder how people cope with losing sight or hearing after knowing what it is to see and hear. I guess we all move on and adjust, but for me, it would probably be the end of my career. At least as a professor who specializes in popular culture and television. But I'm being dramatic, I can totally see and will be fine. I'm just glad I caught it when I did because I'd be looking at a pretty expensive corneal transplant surgery right now if it was any worse.

Phyllis Lyon & Del Martin, 1954

In other sad news, Del Martin (on the right in the above pic) passed away on August 27th. She was 87 years old. She, along with her partner Phyllis Lyon, founded the Daughters of Bilitis, the first lesbian rights activist organization in the United States. Not in the late 60s or the 70s, but in 1955. They were also the first out lesbian couple to join the National Organization for Women, and the first same sex couple to get legally married in California this past June after being together for 56 years. San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsome had the flags in San Francisco at half mast in honor of her passing. Think of the guts it took to have an organization like that during the Cold War. I wish I had that kind of mental and moral fortitude. They didn't stop being activists or pioneers as they got older either. Amazing lady.

Convention-itis

Oh man, I could just be a bit hormonal right now, but the Michelle Obama DNC speech (and intro) made me tear up. It's nice to see words like "compassion"used in a real way, and lived in a real way. It was cool to see her and Barack talk about how they started dating in regular conversational speech, not overly rehearsed. And she seems kind of cool. I like the words they use: hope, compassion, future, change, gratitude.

I would love someone from a working class background, not to mention a person of color, in the White House. Someone who knows what it's like to grow up frustrated over money. I hated seeing that frustration in my parents, especially in my mom, who worked 4 jobs at once to be able to provide for us after my dad stopped paying child support. She still works in a factory, in a job that makes her back ache and her feet hurt. She works at a factory that makes frozen health food dishes, so she spends a lot of the day in a freezer. And she comes home to take care of my step-dad, who has a rare form of cancer that requires him to have chemo treatments every month, probably for the rest of his life.

The Ted Kennedy speech was also a bit inspiring. I wanted him to come out blazing, no bullshit now that he really doesn't owe anybody anything, but he was professional and thoughtful even. It must be hard to make that speech to a crowd that knows you don't have much time. I don't know if I could have done it, as he did, without cracking or tearing up. I heard a story that Ted Kennedy wore a t-shirt to a bbq this past summer (before he was diagnosed with cancer) that said "Bill Clinton for First Lady." Don't know if it is true, but if it is, that totally rules. The sexism of the message is totally trumped by the balls it took for him to wear it.


Ted seemed to have faith and hope in the future and even promised to serve the Senate during the next presidential term. I want to be hopeful. When I think of all the people in my life affected by cancer, it makes me sick. And some of them didn't have the health care that would have prevented tumor growth or made it easier to live with the treatments. That makes me feel even sicker.

The last two elections made me lose faith in humanity. One of my colleagues said after the last presidential election that he finally understood what it must have felt like to want to secede from the Union during the Civil War. Just that kind of feeling that there are really totally different ideological systems guiding people in this country. Just not being able to abide by that kind of thinking.

This Convention seemed important to pay attention to, which is kind of nuts, since I never really care for those speeches. A lot of hustling, preaching to the choir I always thought. But the choir needs preaching, I guess. That's what 8 years of Dubya will do to you. Have you seen the cover of Rolling Stone?

Quittin' time's a-comin'!

Autocrat Branding Inc.

Seriously, I don't get it. What's with wearing the same outfit all the time and having it be this one? It's kind of like trying to be a cartoon character. At least Fidel Castro's "outfit" was supposed to symbolize being revolutionary (or whatever). This symbolizes douche-baggery. How can I tell? The tapered sleeves. What's he hiding up those sleeves??? What does he gain from showing off how tiny his wrists are? I want to know!

Fat Summer/You Can't Go Home Again

Remember the summer of 2002? I remember working on campus and spending a lot of time at Stubrik's bar in Fullerton (and eventually 2Js, and the Continental when it first opened). It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I was out of luck in love and hadn't been in school for a year, but I was having a great time with my friends. Coincidentally, I gained 10 pounds, which I think I still have here somewhere beneath the other pounds I've gained since. I referred to it earlier today as my "Fat Summer." It's a slippery slope, and now that I'm over 30 (yikes), it's not like I can just spend a week without soda and slim down. This stuff is here for the long haul. I have become too sedentary and not at all good with food lately. I can tell because it has been two days since I spent about 45 minutes at the batting cages and I am still sore! And also because I got weighed on an honest-to-goodness doctor's scale last week and it wasn't pretty. Too much delivery food, too many fried foods. I basically had a mental breakdown about it yesterday. So I decided to change things a bit. I will still write about recipes, but let's just say there will be more veggies in my future.

Since I am horribly bad at any kind of fad diet, I went with Weight Watchers (I'm wincing too), which basically teaches you portion control and nutrition in the form of their "points" system. You can look up anything you want and find out how many points it has and then adjust your daily diet accordingly. My commitment to this is serious, but I have to admit, I looked up "coke" and "7&7" right off the bat. A 7&7 cocktail is 3 points! (to give you some context, you should have around 35 points in a day) Exercise gives you bonus points, so I am heading back to the gym. I decided to take a class so that I won't be inclined to leave when I get bored. I'm thinking something very "jazzercise-y" with songs and choreography (think "and kick, and right, and left, and back, you've got it!"). I hope I'm being realistic. I know that paying for my gym membership and not going is just dumb. Here's hoping for the best. FYI: my chocolate cherry cupcakes from yesterday are 2 points each.

Speaking of Stubrik's, I went back there with a friend last week and it's totally different. My little dive bar is all grown up, with a fancy paint job, framed photographs, expensive looking glass lamps above each booth, and a new sign out front in modern black and red font. The bartender mentioned that the upstairs was redone, with more room and less pool tables. There were flat screens all over the place. Sigh, I guess we all have to grow up sometime...

By the way, what is up with the person who took Obama's wailing wall prayer out of the friggin' wall and told the media? And what's up with the media for reporting his prayer word for word and yet making it seem like the person who took it was to blame? What's next, timing his trips to the bathroom?